Welcome to Liberrants, a blog dedicated to editorials, discussions, and studies of all things libertarian. Don't let the title mislead you; it's merely my attempt to be creative in describing myself as a "hopeful curmudgeon" who embraces the goal of the free, peaceful, economically vibrant society envisioned by America's founding fathers. Jump in! Contribute! Enjoy!

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Location: Tucson, Arizona, United States

A critically thinking curmudgeon whose goal, in addition to creatively venting about the imperfect world in which we live, is to induce critical thinking in others. The ultimate goal is to help bring about a peaceful world in which we can all live in freedom.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Three Stooges: Alive and Well and Vacationing in a War Zone

As a life-long fan of the Three Stooges, I have to occasionally remind myself that the last original member of this great comedy trio died in 1975, and that contemporary imitators of their unique brand of comic imbecility are just that – pale imitators, and very bad ones at that. Moe Howard (ne Moshe Horovitz), his brother Jerome (a.k.a. “Curly” to his millions of adoring fans and “Babe” to brothers Moe and Samuel, the latter a.k.a. “Shemp”), and their friend Larry Fine were clearly comedic geniuses who were able to don mantles of stupidity on stage in such a manner that audiences, while heartily amused at their characters, clearly realized that the three men behind the façades were anything but the pathetic stumble bums they portrayed on stage and screen. (Moe Howard, among his many talents, was a financial genius whose prescient investments of his own and his partners’ earnings saved them from bankruptcy when Columbia Pictures dropped them, causing their acting careers to come to a stand still in the late 1950s). The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for the three pale imitators currently locked up in an Iranian jail after deciding to take a hiking vacation in a war zone.

Granted, there is every possibility that these three human speed bumps are not what they (and the government and press) claim they are, which is a gaggle of hapless college students on an innocent romp abroad who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Given the United States government’s stomach-turning history of paying, blackmailing, or deceiving its citizens into becoming human pawns in international games of geopolitical chess, it is certainly within reason to assume that this trio may have been recruited, perhaps indirectly, by the USG to test Iranian border defenses for the purpose of planning incursions across said border by “special forces” in the near future. In absence of proof of such a scenario, however, I can only assume that the claims of the press and the government are accurate and that these unfortunate creatures are indeed “students” on a frolic, students with either a poor sense of direction, reckless disregard for their own safety, or both.

Let me begin by asking the following rhetorical question: What kind of people take a vacation in a region known to be a war zone? The answer, of course, is people who are not very bright, a category that includes most college students in today’s Amerika. While it is highly possible, even likely that the three — Shane Bauer, Sarah Shourd and Joshua Fattal — were, like most of what passes for college students, so zoologically ignorant of geography that they could have been in Hawaii for all they knew, it is more likely that they decided to throw caution to the wind and go exploring a dangerous and unstable region of the world in order to satisfy their wanderlust or to add some sense of purpose to their otherwise pointless and empty lives, which include jobless futures in a collapsing Amerikan Empire.

Whatever their motivation, one thing is absolutely certain: these three stooges deserve none of our sympathy or support WHATSOEVER! Unless they are living brain donors who have been on life support for the last six and a half years, they should have realized that the region through which they chose to so insouciantly travel is one of the world’s most unstable and dangerous. This is especially true for citizens of Pax Americana, which, like its Roman predecessor one and a half millennia ago, has done everything in its power to make itself hated and feared among its conquered subjects. But Shane, Sarah, and Joshua, being of a generation raised to despise critical thinking and common sense and to throw both to the wind even if they should recognize them, probably figured that if only they could show the poor, benighted, brown-skinned people of Mesopotamia that not all of the conquering hordes were bullying, murdering marauders that they would be welcomed with open arms, rose petals thrown at their Bass Pro Shops™-shod feet. That they were disabused of this notion by armed Iranian border guards, who are justifiably suspicious of anyone hailing from the Last Remaining Superpower, and detained should serve as a wakeup call to any other irresponsible would-be adventurers out there who would follow Shane, Sarah, and Joshua’s example.

Last, but certainly not least, there should be no official U.S. government intervention on the Three Stooges’ behalf whatsoever, unless it transpires that they were working on said government’s behalf (and even then the obligation is debatable). Unless this is the case, these three stooges chose to put themselves in harm’s way, meaning that they should bear the consequences for their irresponsible actions in full and on their own. The Ameri[k]an taxpayers, already bled dry by the regime’s wasteful and illegal misadventures in this unfortunate corner of the globe, do not need to bear the added expense of rescuing three spoiled, ignorant, and irresponsible adultolescents who should have known better than to be where they were in the first place. Even more to the point:

1) Iran is, despite Rome-on-the-Potomac’s Ruling Class’s opinion to the contrary, a sovereign and independent nation that has every right to police its own borders as it sees fit, which includes arresting aliens who trespass. (Could it be that Iran does a better job of policing its borders than the Amerikan Empire does of policing its own? Nah, impossible.)

2) A government “rescue” of Ameri[k]an citizens who have gotten themselves into trouble in a foreign country is wholly outside the federal government’s constitutional purview.

No, let Shane, Sarah, and Joshua and their families muster up help on their own dime, thank you. I, for one, had nothing to do with their foolish decision to go trekking through a war zone, and I should not be forced to bear the costs of rescuing them from their own stupidity. Harsh? You bet, but let this be a lesson to everyone about being an independent, responsible, and thinking adult who should be grown up enough to understand the world they live in and be aware of their surroundings.