Welcome to Liberrants, a blog dedicated to editorials, discussions, and studies of all things libertarian. Don't let the title mislead you; it's merely my attempt to be creative in describing myself as a "hopeful curmudgeon" who embraces the goal of the free, peaceful, economically vibrant society envisioned by America's founding fathers. Jump in! Contribute! Enjoy!

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Location: Tucson, Arizona, United States

A critically thinking curmudgeon whose goal, in addition to creatively venting about the imperfect world in which we live, is to induce critical thinking in others. The ultimate goal is to help bring about a peaceful world in which we can all live in freedom.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

U.S. Arrogance Will Guarantee Hostile Governments in the Middle East

Looking at just a sampling of the U.S. government’s imperial attitude toward the Middle East, I believe that it is safe to say that we have not yet even come close to seeing the most hostile governments imaginable take power in that region of the world. All that is needed for the installation of a radical, fundamentalist, hostile government in an Arab nation is a statement from Uncle Sam to the effect of “We don’t like you, and don’t want you in power.” At this point the forces of democracy that Bush and company publicly claim to adore will spring fully into action, bringing results that won’t be pleasant for the Smirking Chimp and his neocon puppeteers.

Most recently the Bushtards have told the Iraqi Shi’ite community –remember, boys and girls, that these people are the majority in Iraq, constituting about 70 percent of the population—that they don’t like the idea of Ibrahim Ja’fari becoming Prime Minister. Mr. Ja’fari should consider himself as good as elected on that basis alone; the Shi’ite masses would love nothing more than to spit in Washington’s face by moving in the opposite direction of the Empire’s wishes.

Still riding this same updraft of imperial hubris, the Boy Emperor issued a fiat to the Iraqis to “get governing”, ordering the three warring factions (Sunni, Shi’ite, and Kurd) to form a coalition government. Once again proudly flaunting his complete ignorance of the history and culture of the region he seeks to rule with an iron fist, the Retard Emperor might as well be issuing orders for sheep to mate with lions, or for Ayatollah Ali Sistani to say Mass in St. Peter’s Square. The result of this imperial diktat will be that, as soon as they regain consciousness after passing out from oxygen deprivation brought on by fits of convulsive belly laughter, the leaders of the various factions within these three communities will pick up their weapons and fight one another with renewed fury that will make previous conflicts look like schoolyard scraps. God help our men and women in green (or is that “desert cammie”?) caught up in the fray, because their leaders [sic] most assuredly won’t.

Then there is the administration’s Henry R. Luce-like reaction to the inauguration of the new government in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Since his beloved “democracy” tree has produced fruits the flavor of which Caligula Bush doesn’t care for, he and his lackeys have ordered American diplomats and contractors to cut of all contact with the new Hamas government. In other words, if a government comes to power in [insert country name here] that I don’t like, I’m just going to pretend that this country doesn’t exist any more. Way to go, Georgie! Now sit back and watch Hamas transform the Palestinian territories into something resembling a viable nation (or at least the closest they’ll ever get to it with you and their Zionist neighbor breathing down their necks). Oh, and I wouldn’t advise trying to destabilize or oust Hamas from power. For starters, you won’t get any immediate cooperation from your Israeli pals, who apparently aren’t quite the pals anymore that you thought they were. And just think of the exponential growth in the retributive terrorism factor that will be brought about by this action, which you will undoubtedly not be smart enough to keep to yourself and will brag about through media big and small.

But is the election or accession to power of hostile governments not, just maybe, the neocon plan all along? What better way to ensure that little nations inadvertently provoke a conflict with the world’s last remaining superpower [sic], and what better way for the superpower to justify more aggressive military action? In other words, the 12-year-old schoolyard bully is going to deliberately bump into the kindergartner on the playground, then clean the kindergartner’s clock for having picked a fight.

This time, however, the other kindergartners are going to band together, probably with the help of some first and second graders, and take the twelve-year-old bully down. While they cannot defeat him individually, the will slaughter him if they combine their strengths. It is fortunate for the world’s kindergartners that the American Empire and its legions, the globe’s twelve-year-old bully, are nearly spent, having picked just a few too many fights to be sustained by what little strength they have. Even if the Bushtards attempt a military confrontation with [insert Middle Eastern nation here] in the near future, it will collapse from its own weakness and negative public reaction. Furthermore, we may be beginning to see evidence that the rest of the world's nations, not only the kindergartners and first-graders, but other twelve-year-olds as well, have had just about enough of America’s belligerence and will take action to obstruct anything that Bush and company do that exceeds the internationally accepted threshold of pain. We can only hope this is the case.

Readers will notice that I seem to have developed a fixation of late concerning the swift, firm placement of footwear into the genital regions of certain individuals deserving of wakeup calls or punishment. I can’t really explain it, but it dawned on me that I can think of no other technique that will so surely and quickly get the attention of errant individuals and bring them into line, while standing a better than average chance of guaranteeing that they won’t likely repeat their behavior in the near future.

So three cheers for a kick in the nuts! By the way, is there an equivalent technique to use on females?